Welcome Cabrera!

http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=4369219

Does not look like they gave up too much:

http://joshsopinion.blogspot.com/2009/01/top-50-twins-prospects-2009-33-tyler.html

And Another One

Ortiz, positive test in '03. Wasn't I expressing doubt just a few months ago as to the idea that his precipitous decline might be linked to same? What do I know, I guess.

Trade Possibilites Disappearing

Well, Snachez went to San Fran. That's disappointing. Apparently we were in the running, but Pittsburgh wanted a top notch starting pitching prospect and we didn't have anyone to match the Giants in that regard. Certainly there were people out there we could have given up to top the Giants offer, but the Pirates have picked up a lot of quantity and were probably looking for quality.

Scutaro, who I hadn't realized is already 34, isn't going anywhere since the Jays can't unload Halladay.

There's some talk about prying Orlando Cabrera from the A's, but as LaVelle Neal noted yesterday, his OPS is the same as Harris', so I don't know what the point of that would be.

So, we're left dreaming of a Jarrod Washburn pseudo-blockbuster, and more reasonably hoping to pick up another bullpen arm before the deadline.

Yuck.

After sweeping the Sox, and sitting on the easiest schedule in all of baseball between now and the end of the season, there's no reason to not make a splash. I keep seeing names like Ben Revene and Kevin Mulvey in our trade rumors, but why aren't names like Glen Perkins and Delmon Young and Michael Cuddyer being thrown around? We could satisfy two of our three needs (2B, add'l SP, insurance bullpen arm) with a big trade including big leaguers. You have to give something to get something.

ValleyFair Punch

RTS Makes Aquisition

The Twins might be sitting idly by, but that does not mean that I will. Last night I acquired The Entertainer Roy Clark, a sit down pinball machine. Do I know anything about fixing pinball machines, anything beyond basic wiring or am a natural with such type of things? No, no and not even close. I found a blog that listed The Entertainer as the worst themed pinball game ever. #1 is #1. If it was the third worst, then it would just suck, but being the worst, that means something.

Favre to Stay Retired - can we exhale now?

I have confess, I feel somewhat mixed emotions with this news. On one hand, I am totally relieved, for all of the reasons we have discussed in the past. On the other, I had sort assumed he would eventually play, and so I am mildly disappointed we won't witness what would have been great theater and a great side show.

In Sagaris we trust!! My biggest worry is that Chilly has now lost the locker room by essentially voting "no confidence" in our QBs (after so openly wanting a washed up, mediocre QB)

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4362093

Slowey+ Surgery = no more pitches in 2009

Not good for a rotation that looks awfully thin right now.

The Summer Bulletin, Such a Guilty Pleasure

Why would anyone in there right mind start writing a post on a Saturday morning? Well since I asked, my carbon monoxide detector decided to inform me at 5:45 that it's batteries were dying by chirping every 30 seconds until I dragged my body out of bed. 5:45 is roughly the same time I get up weekdays, so I am now awake while the rest of the family sleeps. I am helping my brother move into his new place today, a third floor condo without the luxury of an elevator. My motivation level to do anything really productive before the move is rather low.

Luckily for me the Blake Bulletin summer addition arrived in the mail yesterday to help me pass the early morning. Without exception I read the Class Notes section first to see who from the class of '92 sent an update. Let's see what we have:

Brooke C -writes that she just had her third kid. Silver spoons and ivory backscratchers for everyone! The Crosby trust should have enough cash that one more heir won't dilute it too much.

That's it? What a rip off. Time to move on to the other classes. Wait! What is this? A picture of Mayank K on the other page?! At a USC game! You may remember Mayank K from every other BB recap I have written. I see more of this guy in here than I did in HS. Mayank if you are reading this here is a tip, let some time pass. You need to let people's curiosity about what you are doing build up and then send something in. I know more about what you are doing than people I actually keep in contact with. I get the feeling when Mayank watches porn he blows right by the part where the girl teases for a while and skips ahead 6 minutes to her getting double stuffed. Another tip for Mayank, instead of sending in the standard pic of you in the stadium, send in something that shows what you actually did there. Something like stealing a role of stickers from the CSU alumni tent and then plastering those stickers on USC fans who were so drunk they did not know the difference between CSU and USC.

LH, do you remember when I was out in CA for the game? It was the time you gave me the 9 digit phone number so we could not hook up at the Dodger game. Thought I would forget didn't you? The fact that you met up with MCA at a Cubs game just poured salt in that wound. But I digress...

That is it for the class of '92. Let's see what else is packed in here under class notes:

Brad S, brother of friend of blog Brett S, writes he just moved back to Minneapolis from Siberia. Most Russians spend their lives either trying to avoid being sent to Siberia or trying to get out of Siberia. Brad S decided to go their willingly. If I were part of the S family, I would move to Siberia too.

Lief S- Reading between the lines, I think he wants to hook up with Jan's sister again now that he is back in MPLS.

A picture of Morgan T. '99, male, getting married to a guy named Phil.

In Memoriam- Nothing about Don G class of '74, my uncle living off the grid. I assume that means he is still alive or they just have not found his remains.

Class Notes actually had some good stuff. Moving onto the list of colleges that the seniors will be attending in the fall. There are 125 graduates. A brief synopsis's:

11- Ivy Leaguers

5- Northwestern

1- Tufts

0-Duke

2-U of M

2- Wisco, This place used to be a dumping ground for 4th and 5th quintile students from Blake. Did they get rid of reciprocity?

0- Iowa, keeping my streak alive! I am the last person from to Blake to attend Iowa directly out of HS. The streak will be broken when a kid decides that he/she wants to go to a big school, wants to get away from home but not go to far and study engineering but does not have the SAT scores to go someplace better. I am not speaking from experience and don't ask how the engineering turned out.

Worst School-U of M Morris. Why didn't her parents save the cash and just send her to Robbinsdale Cooper? Yes, I realize the same joke could be made about me substituting Washburn for Cooper. It is what qualifies me to make such a comment.

Other news and notes:

-There is nothing in here about Al Franken. I thought for sure they would wave that in every one's face.

-There is a picture of a Somali woman speaking at Blake. This is the closest any Blake student will come to having actual contact with a Somalian.

- In every issue there is a mystery photo from an unnamed date and event and they encourage alumni to send in a list of who is in the pic. Would it kill the bulletin to do a pic from sometime after the 70s? Sure old pics from before the merger of Blake and Northrup help keep the donations coming in from the nursing home crowd, but I have needs too.

Mid-Summer College Hockey Update

All -

Since our hand-wringing postseason Gopher hockey wrap-up, we've generally neglected college hockey around here other than to note and follow Bemidji State's wild run in the tourney.

Anyway, now would be a good time to distract from the other general sports crappiness going on in the Minnesotan's life (Twins sputtering, Buehrle perfect game, Favre drama) by getting back up to date. Three big stories this summer pertaining to Gopher hockey:

1. As predicted right here on this very blog by somebody or other, the WCHA has voted to expand, allowing Bemidji in. Not predicted right here on this blog was that (a) it would happen this quickly, (b) it will be effective next season ('10-'11) instead of '11-'12, and (c) a second team was added to get the league to an even to 12 - Nebraska-Omaha, who leaves the CCHA (where, frankly, they weren't as natural a fit, anyway). This leaves the WCHA at 12 teams, so serious disbalance in schedules is sure to ensue. No idea how that'll get worked out. I could see a 6 and 6 divisional setup, but the CCHA was at 12 and they didn't do it that way. From a Gopher fan perspective, we've got so many great rivalries in the league that to lessen half of them by creating "East" and "West" or whatever would be a shame. This adoption of Bemidji will, of course, only hasten the already inevitable collapse of the CHA, leaving a few other programs without a home and in serious jeopardy of contracting.

2. Closely related, I'm sure, is that UN-O has hired Dean Blais as its new head coach. This is the sort of splash a school like that needs to make to look legitimate to its new conference mates. For those of you too young to remember, Blais won two titles at NoDak. He's no joke.

3. Grant Potulny has completed his turn from the Dark Side. He may have grown up in Fargo, but he became a Gopher, scored a national title winning sudden death goal for the Gophers, and is now a permanent member of the Gopher coaching staff. He replaces a guy who's leaving to become Blais' No. 2 in Omaha.

The Collapse

Can't say anything, really.

From .389 to .358

I hate the home run derby

Need TV Advice

Dudes - in the market for a 40-42" TV for the new place (long story, but we had to leave our old one behind - it was starting to fail anyway). What are y'all's buying and viewing experiences from the last couple years? I'm not a big A/V guy, so I'm not looking to spend a ton, don't see the point in getting a 1080p when there's not much programming for it yet and you can't tell the difference from more than 5 feet away, etc., etc. We're coming off a Panasonic Viera which was perfectly good for my liking, if that's any indication.

Also, need a new, moderately priced stereo receiver to replace the ancient one we've been using, which sucks balls on iPod pass-through even with decent speakers.

Suggestions?

All-Star Break

So, what's going on outside baseball? When does camp open in Mankato? How's the new stadium coming (on both sides of downtown)? When's the British Open and who are we picking? Or do we even care about that here? Are there any 'sota golfers out there anymore? Lumpy, Janzen, Lehman have all disappeared from the scene, and I'm not aware of a replacement.

Chuck G Meter Reading: holding steady at 4 for now. Mild excitement about upcoming Gopher football season helps overcome slight concerns about Twins at .500 at the break and the big, dark green cloud in the shape of a cheese wedge looming around the edges of his dreams.

Brilliance, courtesy of MCA

From July 2008 on FTLOSBW:

July 25, 2008

Minnesota Twins : NY Yankees :: Washington Generals : Harlem Globetrotters
Part I (the facts):In the wake of the latest (and last, but does anyone really think things will magically change across the street?) all-too-predictable Twins meltdown in Yankee Stadium, I've decided the Twins' utter impotency against the Yankees needs to be brought to the fore and vociferously bitched about. I am a very patient, low expectation, proud of my little engine that could Twins fan. Honestly. So, please excuse the theatrics, and cover your children's eyes. I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!

I will not fucking stand by and watch us get shelled time and time and time and time again by this fading, aging has been dynasty any more without speaking up. It's one thing to struggle a bit against the king of the hill. This is quite another, and frankly, in case you hadn't noticed, it's got me infuriated. I simply can't take any more shoulder shrugging at this incomprehensible futility.

So, to prove that this isn't all in my head, I've crunched some numbers. These are all contained within the otherwise highly successful Gardenhire era, from 2002 to the present. 4 playoff appearances, 5.5 winning seasons in 6.5, one ALCS appearance. So, bear in mind we're not talking about a bad stretch generally in which our totally fucked mentality against the Yankees doesn't stand out from generally poor play or something. Other than the fact that we haven't won a World Series in this current run, these are basically glory years for a small market franchise like ours.

Here's where we're at, then, in the Gardy era, when it comes to the Bombers:1. The Twins have THE WORST RECORD IN THE AMERICAN LEAGUE AGAINST THE YANKEES.2. IT IS NOT EVEN CLOSE.3. 9-14 at the Dome, 3-19 (THREE AND NINETEEN!!!) on the road. That's 12-33 overall, a .266 winning percentage. Just for fun, if we played a full season as pathetically as we play the Yankees, we would finish 43-119, with an impressive 11-70 record on the road. Not once have we taken a season series over the Yankees in the period in question. (Notably, in TK's last season, we did, finishing 4-2 and winning a series in Yankee Stadium. Somehow this occurred even before the glorious birth of the full-time majors career of Johan Christ Santana.)4. Over the same period, the Yankees have played .600 baseball (647-425, .6035). Against teams other than the Twins, they're 614-413, or .5978.5. Thus, if the Twins played as well as just your average .500 team, they should expect about a .400 winning percentage against the Yankees. This would lead to an 18-27 record. So, basically, we've dropped a game a season to the Yankees when compared to the mythical .500 team. That doesn't sound like much, but considering the fact that with the unbalanced schedule we've actually only played the Yankees less than 6.5 games a year over that span, it's completely astounding. Every season, we basically have to face the Yankees less than any other team in the league, and yet we still spot everyone at least one game in the standings based on our performance against the Yankees. That is appalling.6. Of course, the Twins are not your average .500 team. During the Gardy era, the Twins are significantly better than .500. They sport a .5494 winning percentage over that period (589-483), and .5618 against all teams other than the Yankees. A roughly analogously successful team generally during this period might be, say, Oakland (599-474, .5582). How have they fared against the mighty Yankees and their unfathomably powerful mystique, you might ask? 25-32, .438. 7. The Kansas City Royals, most likely the worst team in the American League overall since 2002, are 14-36 (.280) against the Yankees in that span. The Tigers, who prior to 2005 could claim that mantle of worst team in the AL, are 17-31 (.354). The [Devil] Rays, who other than this season have generally been atrocious forever? 43-80, or .350. The WORST teams in the league are significantly better against the Yankees than the Twins are.

Part II, entitled "In What World Is This Possible?" to come, in which theories for this atrocity are explored, and we can brainstorm on what needs to be done. I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand.

Let's just bitch for a second on the Twins v. Yankees

If I had more time and wasn't so angry I would look up which team owns the Twins the most - Yankees? Red Sox? Mariners (feels like it)? We are a fly over state. Why do we shrink against these teams? Yes, they are stacked but c'mon.

Not related to sports at all

I feel a little mean spirited posting this, but not enough to not do it. An acquaintance of mine posted the below ad on Match.com. I have nothing against people using Match.com. If I was single, I would be on there too, no doubt about it. Even though you don't know this person, I think that you will agree he would do better to just say "No Fatties."

Do soulmates exist? I hope so. I believe life is richer when shared with others. I am looking for someone to share life with no matter where it may take us. . . . preferably all over the world. I'd like to find a woman who can be spontaneous and adventurous. I like to experience new places and activities regularly. Someone who loves roughing it in the mountains for a week as much as eating at posh restaurants Downtown anywhere. I like the NFL "and" the premier league and the PGA..is that weird? I am not much for mandates..but if you don't love the Beatles, you have no heart, please don't call..Cats, pets, and kids are cool. War, fighting and B. S. are crap. Life is about truth trust and love so my patience for saarcasm is short. Movies are great, but there is nothing like live theatre, and music. I love women who can appreciate good wine, beer and food...I sure do.

Hello?

Been a week with no new posts. What's up out there? Twins are finally 2 games over, and hopefully ready to rock and roll now. I count four road series wins in the last three weeks. That's good stuff. Mauer's done with that whole .400 thing, I think. Also, where'd the homers go? Baker's starting to look pretty good, Perkins appears healthy and productively decent now, even Liriano's throwing well. Also, hat's off to Guerrier. Quietly putting together a nice season and an unsung piece of the team's hanging in there so far. Hopefully Gardy won't use him 'til his arm falls off and he looks like Jesse Crain by mid-August. I'm a little concerned that he's pitched in every other game so far. That's a lot of appearances.