The Schadenfreude Season

In recent years, the Schadenfreude season hasn't actually arrived until at least mid-October (for baseball) and December (for football), but given the complete ineptitude of our teams this year, this enjoyable pastime has arrived early (when I have time, I am going to post a full post-mortem of the 12 month period from Oct. 1st 2010 through Sept. 30th, 2011 - a.k.a. the worst 12 months in MN sports history). As a reminder, the word Schedenfreude refers to deriving pleasure from the misery and failure of others. I didn't look that up, so I hope I'm right.

So, here's what I'm tracking:

1) Baseball - I thoroughly enjoyed the Boston Red Sox complete meltdown and debacle. I mean, could it happen to a better bunch of people? They had become the Yankees, but wouldn't acknowledge it...maybe this will serve up a little humble pie to "the Nation." Also, this is Karmic payback for Boston sports being so successful over the past 10 years. From here on out, I am rooting against the Yankees...that's pretty much my only objective. I have nothing against the other playoff teams, though the Rangers annoy me. I generally hate all Wisconsin teams, but the Brewers are pretty likeable.

2) Football - It'll be a while until playoffs and bowl games, but I am already enjoying the mini-meltdown of the Chicago Bears. Sadly, I think the Packers are a lock to roll to the NFC championship again this year. In college, I just want to see SEC teams lose...and I wouldn't mind seeing Nebraska get slapped around a bit in its first Big Ten season.

That's all I can think of at the moment...in the meantime, shouldn't the Vikings just go 0-16 so we can grab Andrew Luck? Seriously...the kid is the next Peyton Manning, except more athletic.

Alexi Casilla

Look at what LRTS received in the mail yesterday. Thank you Mr. Casilla.

FTLOSBW, Christ to Football Gods: Go Fuck Yourselves

In a rare show of unity between blog and church, FTLOSBW and Jesus of Nazareth released a joint statement following yesterday's loss to the Lions calling the 3rd blown lead in as many games "beyond cruel" and "borderline treason."

Part of the statement reads: "It is with grave concern and disgust that FTLOSBW and Jesus Christ inform the Football Gods responsible for the latest Vikings collapse that they can go fuck themselves. We're over it. Fuck you. " Jesus Christ went on to say: "and honestly, eat my shit."

You can read more about this statement on Jesus' site www.jesusismyhomeboy.com

FTLOSBW: Asleep at the Switch. Now this is some football I can get excited about.

Tired and bored with the state of Minnesota? Tired and bored with the state of Minnesota Sports? Look no further friends. Step right up and get your dose of progress.

What turns this nordic native's head so swiftly towards hope, you might ask? An apology from Joe Mauer for his lackluster bust of a season and for his sad promotion of mediocre minnesota tourism venues? No. Not that. A time machine taking us back thirty seconds before chilly sent 12 men to a huddle in the most crucial moment in Minnesota Vikings History? Nah. I don't have a time machine. That's impossible. Famine relief? Certainly not.

Nope. It's chicks in bras playing football. Tackle football. And it's now part of the Minnesota football fabric. I have to say, I watched a few clips of this, and they didn't look too bad. From a football standpoint. This may be our best chance at a football championship in the next decade.

Go Valkyrie! I bet Ragnar is firing up that bike as we speak.

RTS- I am a little shocked you haven't tracked and reported on this previously. I'm ready for some football. Can FTLOSBW get a box for this? They only play like three games a year, so I think if we pawn Jan's AP jersey, we should be able to afford it.

Minnesota Vikings: When We Were Young

Unless you follow the Minnesota Lynx (which, I now actually do) you're probably yearning for days gone by when the Minnesota sports scene fielded teams that were, well, relevant. The below picture was taken post game at Lambeau in 2009.

Just a quick snapshot from that day: November 1, 2009, Vikes win 38–26 and move to 7-1. Touring the bars in Green Bay after the game, we came across this guy. Who could know what tragedies would follow and how insightful this guy's jersey actually would become.

Minnesota Sports Are Just Awful

There. I said it.

Uh, I do believe there will be no math? - Bernard Berrian

In a brief Purple-related conversation with FOB CB, the topic of receivers came up and my disdain for the Vikes #87 Bernard Berrian was exposed. Let's break out some numbers from 2004/2005 to last year's failure -

(Take this in light of his 6 year $42M ($16M guaranteed) contract with the Purple)

Games Rec Yards Tuddies
16 15 225 2
11 13 246 0
15 51 775 6
16 71 951 5
16 48 964 * 7 (Purple)
16 55 618 ** 4 (Purple)
14 28 252 *** 0 (Purple)


* Remember Sunday night against the Bears when Gus Ferrotte (yes, Gus) threw Berrian a 'Go' pattern on like 2 and 10 from our 1 yardline and Peanut Tillman blew coverage and Berrian went for 99 and the Tuddy? That makes this year worse, like 47 catches for 864 yards and 6 tuddies.

** He and Favre didn't like each other, clearly. While he played his best game as a pro in the NFC Championship game that year with 9 catches for 103 yards, I think he had a lost fumble too.

*** Yeah, he quit on the Purple in Chicago.

FTLOSBW Grade = D+



Now, for some people shooting guns

Friday Motivation

You guys have it real easy. I never had it like this where I grew up.  But I send my kids here. Because the  fact is, whether you deserve it or  not; you go to one of the best schools in this country.  Rushmore. You lucked out.  Now for some of you it doesn't matter  You were born rich and you're going to  stay rich. But here's my advice to the  rest of you: take dead aim on the rich  boys. Get them in the cross-hairs. And  take them down.

Best chapel speech ever.

Gamblor week 3: The sequel to the sequel!

It is no secret that Gamblor loves favorites. This week is an anomaly, chalk full of dogs at least by Gamblor standards.

$100 (Friday) Boise St -20 @ Toledo. Let's see, Toledo played a heck of a game vs OSU. Boise has been off 2 weeks since trouncing Georgia. I think Boise whips Toledo and circular logic will be used all season to promote Boise. Sounds like a good story to me.

$50 Oklahoma -3 @FSU. I will be at this game with my neighbor who was born and raised in Tallahassee and is a huge FSU fan. We have been to 5 FSU games together. FSU has only won once. The jinx continues. The lock of the week, sometime after the game we will be eating Whataburger. This place make Hardees look healthy.

$50 Ohio St +3 @ Miami. I like the Buckeyes to bounce back after a poor showing. It would help my Boise theory too.

$50 OK St -13 @ Tulsa. What kind of bone is OK ST throwing Tulsa to play this game at Tulsa? I think OK ST looks pretty freakin' good right now.

$50 Stanford -9 1/2 @ Arizona. Stanford just does not seem to play a lot of close games. I like them by a couple of scores.

$25 (Friday) Iowa State +4 @ UConn. Iowa State QB Steele Jantz beat some respect into me last week. This is a bet on Steele Jantz.

$25 Auburn +3 @ Clemson. Clemson is like BYU, I never win a game when they are involved. I should lay off, but I like getting the points. Auburn beat a very good Miss St team last week. I am willing to dismiss their week one performance against Utah St.

First 2 out:

BC -7 vs Duke. Two 0-2 teams having it out. BC's strength is supposed to be their D and Dukes weakness is supposed to be theirs. I think BC wins a rather unexciting game by 10.

Michigan State +4 1/2 vs Notre Dame. FOB PW likes ND. Imagine him placing this bet with a legal sports book. Who do you think winds up with the cash? Just sayin'.

Just a comment:

Miami Ohio +5 @ Minnesota. This looks like it has win one for the Gipper priced into it.

Gamblor Week 2: BBQ Ribs

It seems a lot of decent teams played a FCS school last week and scheduled a FBS chump for week 2. Coach Barrons (volunteer, Blake 1990) said "When that WR reaches up to grab that pass, it is BBQ ribs baby! Take a bite!" The favorites take a bite this weekend.

$50 Iowa -6.5 @ Iowa State. Maybe more heart than brains went into this one. Iowa looked alright routing Tennessee Tech last week, but nothing great. Iowa has won 6 of the last 8 and 3 in a row straight up in the series.

$50 Bama -10 @ Penn State. Is this a set up? If PSU scores more than 10 points I will be shocked.

$50 Ohio State -19 Vs Toledo. The answer: 42-0, 73-20 and 38-0. The question: What were the scores of the last 3 Ohio State vs MAC games? The trend is your friend.

$50 Virginia -6.5 Vs Indiana. Yes, I might get whipsawed. Indiana took me down last week when Ball St pushed them around the field. The last time these two teams met Virginia won 47-7 (2009).

$50 Stanford -21 @ Duke. Duke put up 21 in a two point loss to Richmond. Stanford beat 9 teams last year by more than 21. I am betting that even if Duke can match last weeks total, the Cardinal puts up more than 42.

First two out:

SC -3 @ Georgia. GA should have won this game a year ago, but lost on a late fumble. The two teams have been going in different directions since. I am just not sure SC is that special.

M-I-N-N-E-S-O-T-A -20 Vs New Mexico State. NMST is bad, really really bad. I just don't trust the Gophers giving 20, yet.

One dog:

Michigan +3.5 vs Notre Dame. I was hard pressed to even find a dog I would shout out. This is the first night game at the Big House. If Michigan can not hang for this one...

A Message from Gardy