Vikes Bears Part Deaux

This is all I can muster. Get on Board, fellas.

BG - If the Vikes win the superbowl, i am formally requesting you perform this version of the song on youtube.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you, daichibeatboxer

And to all a good night.

A New Year Begins: FTLOSBW Celebrates The Real Winter Solstice

A few years ago when Minnesota was knee deep in a January "cold snap" with a forecast to last into March, I sat in my frozen car in the parking ramp of Compu Global Mega Corp and realized I was turning into the angry "Old Man Winter" himself ("You kids get out of my yard!") I realized that, this being America, I could take the lemons that Minnesota Winter shakes from the weather tree and make lemonade. As a trained business professional, I went to my "tool box" and employed one of my favorite concepts from business school: Judo Strategy whereby I chose to start the tradition of marking the Winter Solstice as my new "New Year"; acutally, not so much that actual day, December 21, but rather December 22 because that's the first day when the days start to get longer, the 21st is technically the longest day of the year and who wants to celebrate that? The 22nd also marks the day when you can soak just a bit more Vitamin D. Not only that but I go about by my Winter-life consciously abiding by "N-B-C: Never Be Cold" and, you guessed it, layering-up like a mofo when I walk my dog. The problem with all of this is that it gets you through those bone chilling days in January and February but you'll eventually be brought to your knees by the 11 inch snow storm that smacks us at tourney time. Oh, and some quacks will have you believe that it's not that bad here anymore, they're idiots, it's all relative, I mean the housing market in Detroit has picked up.

Author's Note: It's 22 degrees today and I didn't feel cold when I got in my car because it has been really, really, really cold here in early December. At the time I thought to myself, "Not too bad out today." Now I find myself thinking, "Hey, that's kinda cold."

Vikes v. Panthers - The Turd in the Carolinas

Almost a mirror image of effort of that Cards game. We opened up with a tuddy and good defense and that was pretty much it for the rest of the game. I don't want to call it a 'trap' game because it shouldn't have been but if they don't decide to actually play hard then we are going to be one and done in the playoffs. What's more frustrating is that winning teams don't let that happen after New Orleans lost and after we clinched the division.

Game Balls -

AP's tuddy run.

That's about it. Vent on this post and then let's move on. I know at least 2 others who won't be able to watch Sportscenter for another 4 days. Good that xmas is coming to provide a distraction.

And Thus Ends the Royce White Era

Finally, the distraction of Royce White and his off-the-court antics are over. Accused of stealing a laptop in a dorm proved to be too much for him to deal with on top of his suspension following his admission of theft at the Mall of America. Apparently he can't 'man up' and deal with these issues, get over them, and be a better person for it by growing and maturing and being a leader. This is the same guy that got the boot from De La Salle due to academic misconduct but got a reprieve by Hopkins - guess you can't teach an old dog . . .

Being the year 2009, he announced this all via a YouTube posting (click here) which has a music video intro of, I'm assuming, one of the artists on his record label. Of course every 19 year old has a record label.

Some highlights:

• "Me going somewhere on campus, I've always got a lot of people with me . . . I'm known for walking down the street with 50 to 100 people going to a party." Really? 50 to 100? Heard Adam Weber has the same problem.
  
• On the laptop incident: "I don't know if it's a race thing or what." Yeah, you being constantly in some sort of trouble is a race thing.
• "I wish I could be a great teammate but I can't wait for the justice system." So you quit, that's a good one.

Well, that totally sucks as he was an awesome player, a great recruit for the U, and a big piece to Tubby's puzzle. Wish he would just take stock in his life and grow from all this stuff but at the same time if that is his response to all the trouble he has caused from himself then we didn't need him.

Vikings Stadium: If We Build It . . .

Lots of press lately on the Vikings and their woes with the Metrodome, specifically the Minneapolis Sports Commission. The Vikings have said "No" to any proposal by the MSC and extending their lease at the Dome beyond 2011 and they want a new stadium or are threatening to, well, nobody knows for sure but I'm gonna guess "leave." The team is set to unveil a $1 bn proposal for a stadium funded, in the most part, by John Q. Public. In a time of historic budget deficits, hard to sneak this one past those fat cats in St. Paul. In effort to show how much money pro sports teams give to the state coffers through taxes, a report this week shows that since 1961 teams have pumped $450 million into the states budget through taxes on teams players, concessions etc.; while this may not seem like a lot, the firm that produced the report orginially did the estimation in 2006 and in the process of updating it found that $100m+ of that $450m was generated in the past 3 years alone. Nothing to sneeze at. Still, here we sit with the prospect of losing one of the most recognizable assets we have. I get it, we can't afford it, well we can't afford a lot of stuff that gets passed by the state legislature but it gets passed anyway. I, for one, am for the stadium - whether we pay for it by a Racino or some other method I don't care, I love the Vikes and Minnesota without a team will be an empty place in my heart.

RTS College Football Office Bowl Pool

Fellow contributors of the FTLOSBW, I am running the office bowl pool. If you would like to play, let me know and I will send you a form. It is $10 to get in. If you don't want to play you will not hurt my feelings.

I would just post the sheet here, but gosh darn it I can not get the spreadsheet portion to post correctly.

The NBA - The Worst League

Does anyone actively follow the NBA? I know some on this blog say they do but I don't really believe it. Watching NBA basketball is like watching 4th graders play Bombardament - it's all offense and only comes to down to playing defense when one kid is left and the game is all but over. During the 1980's and 1990's with players like MJ, Bird, Magic, the Mailman, Zeke, the NBA couldn't be stopped; I point to the fact that MJ and Bird had those McDonald's "Horse" commercials that were on in continuous loop. In my mind, after "Dream Team I" took the gold in Barcelona, the NBA was getting it's ski tips up as it prepared to "jump the shark." All of a sudden the league got a lot younger and more diluted as Stern expanded to basically anywhere that would pay a franchise fee. It wasn't about competition, it was about "the bling" and dunks and Master P. I would rather watch Gopher's women hockey than an NBA game (ok, that might be a stretch, I would prefer not to have to come close to either of those.) The worst part about this time of year is that football is ending which means the NBA gets more air time. Oh, and the fact that the season goes until June is a joke.

Sorry, not sure why this stuck in my craw today.

VIkes v. Bungles

Cleansing win. Nice to wash off the turd from last week and play a complete game. Nothing really dominating about the win, kind of boring all around but hanging 30 points on a 9-3 Bengals defense that had been stuffing the run is satisfying. Bonus: this 11-2 squad is in the post-season.

Game Balls -

1. Antoine Winfield - welcome back Dr. Awesome. He was out 6 weeks and wanted to be 100% healthy for his return, well he looked it yesterday. From hits to forced fumbles to shut down corner work he gets it done. In Favre's press conference he said Winfield was probably the #5 run stopper in the league. That from a HOFer about a corner. He looked it yesterday.

2. Vikings defense - ok, there were no sacks yesterday and a blown coverage on the Ochocinco tuddy (it was Winfield who made the mistake but I'm not gonna blame him on that one.) The Vikes did continue their 2 year streak of not allowing a 100 yard rusher and they held Carson Palmer to 94 yards passing. Plus, we had two rookies out there in MLB Jaspar "Don't Call Me David" Brinkley and Saftey Jamarca Sanford who stepped up and played well considering it was their first NFL start.

3. AP - Good to see the Vikes commit to the run and AP get his yards and tuddies. All is right in the world.

4. You, the Fan - you were nervous this past week, I could tell. You thought we had been exposed in Arizona and it was all about to crumble again. With your cheering and high-fives to your friends (or to yourself) you were able to pull out the win.

Thin the Herd: "Danger: Thin Ice"

It's Winter in Minnesota (well, not yet officially but the -22 windchill on Wednesday didn't feel like Fall.) With Winter (and Spring) come the inevitable idiots who fall through ice that isn't safe because, apparently, they HAVE TO get out there and ice fish or skate or just be on the ice. The DNR put out a warning this past week reminding people, particularly children, that there is no safe ice. Around my house, Lake Calhoun froze over on Thursday.

As a morbid annual tradition, the seasonal, statewide over/under on people falling through is set at 4.3 (the average over the past 10 years.) Will keep you posted.

David McIntyre to RTS - "Ho, Ho, Ho"

Bowl Round Up

I am as giddy as Navin Johnson when he exclaimed "The new phonebooks are here!" It is the holiday season and that means it is bowl season. 68 teams will square off in 34 bowls over the next 3 weeks. You can bet that I will have a vested interest in each and everyone. Now granted, one football pool ensures that, so that is not all that impressive.

Big Ten Games:

Little Caesar's Pizza Bowl, formerly the Motor City Bowl - Ohio -2 Vs Marshall, Payout $750,000
This does not feature any Big Ten teams, what are you talking about RTS? Exactly. Thanks to Illinois', Michigan's, Purdue's and Indiana's crapiness the Big Ten could not fulfill all their bowl tie-ins. Thus Marshall steps in to complete one of the lamer bowl games. Don't get me wrong, Illinois vs Ohio would not be much more compelling, but hopefully the Big Ten could squeeze out a win and pad the bowl record.

Champs Sports- Wisconsin +3 Vs Miami , Payout $2.13 million
Wisconsin embodies the image of the Big Ten. A huge offensive line blocking for a abnormally large RB. It is grind it out football. If they fall behind by a couple of scores or have to go to the pass, it is game over for the Badgers. Wisco got shellacked in this game a year ago by FSU. Like Jimmy the Greek used to say "I like the Hurricanes by more than a field goal."

Insight- Minnesota -3 Vs Iowa St, Payout $1.2 million
The tag on the side of this blog reads, "Who the f cares?" The answer is RTS. I don't want to sound too condescending but this game is like the battle of Iowa's younger brothers. I generally root for both teams throughout the year and both teams have nice rivalries with Iowa. However, right or wrong, I feel that my team's program is better than these two. Am I an asshole? I am just being honest.

Outback- Northwestern +8 Vs Auburn, Payout $3.1 million
Kudos to Northwestern for making it to a New Years day bowl. It is well deserved. Down the stretch they beat Iowa and Wisconsin. NU don't go and F' it up. The Big Ten definitely needs to win this one or the Wisco game and I would say they have a better shot in this one. The Outback Bowl is great because it is the first game on New Years day. When I am hung over and want to do nothing more than lay on my couch and watch football, the Outback is there to comfort me.

Capital One- PSU -2 1/2 vs LSU, Payout $4.25 million
This should be a kick ass game w/ two big time programs squaring off . Now that Joe Pa has long walked Bobby Bowden, he now has the chance to put Les Miles on the hot seat next season. Even though he won a national title, the LSU faithful are wondering if Miles is competent. Despite the quality of this game, I see a new year's day nap sometime during the second qtr.

Alamo Bowl- Michigan St +7 1/2 Vs Texas Tech $2.25 million
Michigan St tortures their fans. They can follow up any quality win with a horrific loss. This was a team that was supposed to compete for the Big Ten title and possibly flirt with being undefeated. Instead they lost 3 of their first four including a loss to Central Mich by allowing 9 pts in the last 32 seconds. They lost to Iowa on the last play of the game and followed that up by losing to the Gophers. Maybe the fact that 8 players are suspended for beating up some frat guys, who were just minding their own god damn business when the football team started kicking their ass -yeah right, is good thing. I am guessing the pussy Jekyll shows up and Hyde is on suspension.

Rose Bowl- Ohio St + 3 1/2 Vs Oregon $17 million
The Rose Bowl has become the Big Ten/ ACC Challenge (sans this year). The Big Ten has not won since 2000 when Wisco beat Stanford. It is a toss up who is more desperate for the win OSU or the Big Ten. If you are not a Big Ten fan hoping this is the year the Big Ten breaks their funk, this one does not have a lot of sparkle.

Orange Bowl- Iowa +4 vs Georgia Tech $17 million
I was as disappointed as I could be at the announcement that the Hawkeyes made a BCS bowl. Yes, I was thrilled but I would have rather seen them go to the Fiesta and play Boise St as projected. I would like to see how Iowa and Boise measure up against each other. Now Iowa has to spend a month preparing for a an offense that they won't ever see again unless Navy pops up on the schedule. The good news is Iowa already plays a straight forward defense where everyone is responsible for a gap or man as opposed to a defense built on disrupting the offense with blitzes and people flying around the field. The bad news is Georgia Tech may only need a couple of big plays to outscore Iowa.

Other BCS Bowls:

Fiesta Bowl- TCU vs Boise St
Boy did they f*ck this one up. I don't care that they are both undefeated. The intrigue of both teams is to see how they play against the BCS schools. Would it be like Okl/ Boise again or Hawaii/ Georgia? Plus we already saw them play each other last year.

Sugar Bowl- Cincy vs Florida
Personally, for as big as this game is, it is not much of an attraction for me. We have already seen Tim Tebow cry and Cincy's coach may not be around anymore. I would not be surprised if Florida comes out flat like Bama did last year. On the flip side I could see Cincy's high powered offense go down Hawaii style. Either way, I will only really care about my football pool.

The BCS Championship- Alabama vs Texas
By the time this game rolls around on Jan 7, I will most likely be footballed out. It will have to be a heck of a game for me to make it all the way through. I am pulling for Texas just to keep the title out of the SEC.

Other bowls of note:

Worst bowl games- Humanitarian Bowl Idaho vs Bowling Green or the already mentioned Little Caesar's Bowl

Best match ups not yet mentioned- Holiday Bowl Nebraska vs Arizona and Chik-fil-A VT vs Tenn

Least deserving of the bowl bid they received- FSU in the Gator Bowl. Consider it a going away present.

Team that was screwed the most by their bid- Clemson in the Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl. How did it happen? FSU.

Team that f'ed up their bowl chance- Kansas St, they went 6-6 but two wins were against FCS schools and only one can count for bowl eligibility. Were all the MAC teams booked when K St scheduled that second team? They also lost to Louisiana-Lafayette.

Let's talk some baseball

With the first winter storm of the season raging outside, my thoughts are already in Fort Myers as I look forward to the cliched "pitchers and catchers report" story on the local news. We've got 4 months until opening day, give or take, and it is exciting to be a Twins fan (well, at least its fun to dream of what you would do if you owned the Twins.) What are we in for? Another off-season of nothing exciting? Minor moves? Major moves? The JJ Hardy deal was a good as previously discussed (btw, I googled "JJ Hardy" and "JJ Hardy's girlfriend" was an option.) Twins have decided to go with Pavano and designated Boof for "assignment or release" which basically means "aloha"; honestly someone who legally changes his name to "Boof" and posts a 5.12 career ERA won't be missed that much, right? I like Pavano, not sure what he's got left in the tank at this point but like the veteran leadership plus is there anyone out there you really want and think we could legitimately sign? While we'll be without Red Dog for next year I think that's a positive. We missed out on the Sean Figgins (sorry, 'Chone' is such a weird spelling) but I've heard both Adrian Beltre and Troy Glaus' names as possible replacements.

Elephant in the room remains Joe MVPauer. I listened to the "Sid and Dave" on Sunday morning as they interviewed Joe who had just gotten out of a deer stand that morning. Same story "I like it here, I'm a Twin, yada, yada, yada it will take care of itself." Sid was busy lobbying with "Joe, you are a terrific young man; you're a great ballplayer but you are a really good person and your family should be proud" - note to Sid Hartman "you and your schtick are old."

Vikes v. Cards - The Turd in the Desert

Not much to report on that farce of a game. That Vikings team looked like the Vikings that we are all too familiar with - those that don't show up on gameday. It was almost like they didn't want to be there and when Loadholt went down followed by McKinnie (yes they both came back in) I knew we were in for trouble. Losing EJ is tough but true champions step up. I guess that loss was bound to happen (not really but I'm trying to make sense of it.)

Game balls:

Vikings - none.

Face it - we were out coached & outplayed. All I can say is that I'm glad we're 10-2. If I were the owner of the Vikes, and one day I will be, I would put the front page of the Arizona Daily Courier Gazette from today on the locker room wall just as a reminder.

OK, I Don't Want to Hear any More Deification of the Saints

If I hear another person spout off about how Drew Brees is so amazing and the story of the day is the Saints comeback and never say die attitide, I am going to immediately write a sternly worded letter. The story of the day is that this supposedly infalliable team escaped an embarrassing loss by a box hair. It took the Skins kicker shanking a 27 yard field goal with a minute and half left (that's two games this dickhead has blown in a month), an absurd interception by a terrible Skins quarterback with 45 seconds left that took away another chance for the skins to kick a field goal to win it, and the league stepping in and reversing a call in OT for the vaunted saints to beat one of the worst teams in football.

I'm just saying, yes, they dismantled the Patriots. But they should have lost to two of the worst teams in the league - the Rams and the Skins. That defense is not good. You know who else the Skins have scored 30 points against? No one. I know, I know. I heard all about it. They had a hurricane there. It's so inspirational. You know what? The statute of limitations has worn off on that one. And New York -- same goes to you and 9-11. As far as I'm concerned, Drew Brees can take his birth mark and sell it on ebay. I don't know what that means. But what I do know is, I am sick of hearing about the Saints and I can't wait to see them and all their fans, who are buying tickets with your tax dollars, get their stupid cajun hearts broken. And I hope we get to do it.

RTS and Gemmy Industries Corporation

Below is an email chain between myself and Gemmy Industries Corporation. It is not funny, but just in case someone from the outside world stumbles on this it is worth it. Maybe I am just bitter because my day started having to deal with Blue Cross Blue Shield, Aetna and the doctors office. As you can imagine that was just a miserable experience.

First email, after I have contacted them through their website, Gemmy.com

NOTE: This is an automated email. Please do not reply to this email.
Dear XXXX,
Thank you for contacting Gemmy Customer Support. You have submitted the following information:
or Question:Parts - Missing/ReplacementIf other, please enter that here:
Where did you purchase:Walgreens
When did you purchase?:2008
Please describe your issue or question:I purchased an Airblown Infalatable 4 ft tall Santa, item # 11695, at the end of the holiday season at Walgreens in 2008. As it was the end of the holiday season, this weekend is the first time I attempted to set it up. The adapter, the 2 tether ropes, the tether stakes and base stakes were missing. Please let me know what I can do to obtain these missing parts so that we may enjoy the inflatable Santa.
Regards,
XXXX
A member our customer support team will contact you shortly.
Thanks,Gemmy Customer Support

No one contacted me. I contacted them again:

I know this is an automated email and it says do not reply, but what the heck... Anything on the inquiry I filed with you? How can I get the replacement parts listed below.

Gemmy responds (take a hike kid, paraphrased):
Dear Gemmy Customer, Gemmy Industries no longer carries replacement power supplies or other electronic parts for items made prior to 2009. In the event you have misplaced the power supply or power cord for a Gemmy product, please check the product instruction sheet for the voltage rating and other relevant power source information. Once you have confirmed the correct information, replacement power supplies can be found at local electronic stores including Radio Shack and Fry’s Electronics and online at Amazon.com and at the following online e-retailer http://www.voltage-converter-transformers.com/switching-ac-dc-supply.html. Best regards, Gemmy Industries Corporation

How about the stakes I was shorted?

David McIntyre responds: Unfortunately we do not stock replacement parts for all items that we produce. For those parts we do offer, availability is subject to quantities on hand. At this time the part you require is not available. Though we do routinely re-order replacement parts from our factories overseas, these orders are placed in the first quarter of each new year and distributed to consumers while supplies last. When parts arrive, customers are notified by e-mail. If you are interested in being placed on our e-mail notification list, please provide your name, address, daytime phone number, and valid e-mail address and we will contact you as soon as parts are become available. Thank you, Gemmy Industries Corporation

I respond:
I have to admit, I am not really pleased right now as I have a worthless inflatable Santa. In case you do receive any of the parts I was shorted, the adapter, any of the stakes or tethers please put me on the list XXXX. My next step is to write a letter to Walgreens.

David McIntyre reponds:

Noted

Shame on me for not opening this thing up last year, Gemmy can screw themselves for shorting me in the first place and providing absolutely no customer service or support. I even had to contact them twice for them to go tell me to take a hike.

Jan takes on the media

There was a story on WCCO news the other night about the troop increase in Afghanistan and the reporter went to a local VFW to get reaction. At the VFW they interviewed three older vets, the final guy they talked to had a deep, fresh scar on his head that was being held together by a row of shiny metal staples; it was simply nauseating to look at (see for yourself at the 3:19 mark of this video.) In fact, I was so grossed out that I sent the below message to WCCO management via email.

"I watched your news cast tonight and during the reporting on the troop level increase in Afghanistan your reporter apparently went to a VFW hall to interview veterans to get their response. Did you have to show the third respondent? He had about 20 metal staples in his head that were clearly visible on t.v. Did you not have 20 seconds of another person you interviewed or some voice-over you could have used that you had to show the 'crazy looking guy with the gross staples in his head?' It's just gross and unsettling, particularly in HD."

Two facts:

1. While I got some automated email response from WCCO it was still cathartic to send.

2. I am a step away from telling kids to "get off my lawn!"

Big 10/ACC - Just hoop it up, yo!

Early in the season but this is fun, especially when you get the rematch of the National Championship game. The Big Ten is .500 so far this year; it's the 11th year of the tourney and I read that the Big Ten is 0 for 10 in winning the most games over the "challanges" history. Nerd U won without BG's doppleganger; you might remember him from a February post on this blog when I ran into Mr. and Mrs. BG.

Speaking of, Tubby's Golden Gophers get Miami tonight. I like Sampson and Iverson and think they're going to start to dominate some games this year and give teams match up issues. Plus, we all know about Rodney. After "attitude" problems at the 76 classic, I like Tubby setting the record straight with his players especially after the Royce White bullshit (judgement day is today.)

MCA's Nerd U East plays at the drunken Sconnies tonight (they should host this game at the Dells. I would love to see Krysvhdevsixki on a water slide.) Smell some sort of upset coming? That also might be just the smell of shit, it is Wisconsin afterall. TADOW!