Twins: A recent history of free agent mediocrity

As we have repeatedly seen, the Twins have done a pretty remarkable job of getting value back from trades. However, what they have never been good at is picking up a "big bat" or getting one or two more years out of an aging star to make an impact. Here's a brief but distinguished list of who the Twins have tried out the last few years. I was surprised that my grandfather wasn't given a shot at some point but then I reminded myself he has been dead for 6 years.

1. Jeff Cirillo - he was as much a part of last year's clubhouse as TC Bear was. I don't his deal but I haven't seen someone want out of a situation like that since I called my mom crying from Camp Warren when I was 8.
2. Bret Boone - career .266 hitter; played 14 games for the Twins in 2005, batted .170; why did we pick him up?
3. Tony Batista - this dude was playing for the Fukuoka SoftBank Hawks in Japan in 2005 when we signed him. How do you say "50 games and a .236 average for the Twins" oh, yeah "Fuk-u-oka"
4. RonDL White - Huge upside to Rondell . . . oh wait, it's not 1992? Never mind, he's old and got hurt a lot.
5. Rueben Sierra - Yes, he played 14 games for us in 2006. That was also his 20th year in MLB. Seriously? This is who we pin our hopes on?

To make matters worse, I read this morning that Bill Smith might be interested in Tony Clark or Luis Gonzalez. With past as prologue, these moves make total sense. Correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't Tony Clark the only good player on those horrible Tiger teams from the 1990's? As for Gonzalez, he was really good for 5 years from 1999 - 2003, so much so that when I looked at his numbers I think George Mitchell might want to review his 2001 campaign when he hit 57 home runs, batted .325, and drove in 142 runs. However, if the Twins sign him, I'm sure his upcoming 19th year in baseball will be a renaissance for him (sarcasm font.)

So, here's to the new regime at 34 Kirby Puckett Place, may all of your trades be lopsided and may all of your free agent signings be younger than me.