This agression will not stand, man.

OK, Football Gods, stop, please. Stop what you're doing to Vikings fans. We are 3 games from the end of what has been the most horribly bizarre year in sports for any franchise. 2010 was bad. Real bad. Bad even for a team that you've been torturing for 50 years. But 2010 wasn't just a trade that was bad (Herschel) or bad PR (boat ride) or someone going on a rant about how they were going to sue ownership (The Sheriff) or a draft pick turning up in camo "ready for war" only to freak out (Underwood) or taking a knee (highest scoring offense) or not making the catch when you needed to make the catch (Darren Nelson) or rolling over in the first 2 minutes of a game and ruining my trip to Vegas (41-0.) No you were cruel all those years too but 2010 started shitty and just kept getting shittier. In January, there were 12 guys on the field and a "classic" interception (by "classic" I of course mean "knife to the heart") soon thereafter the fucking New Orleans Saints won the goddam Superbowl. You bastards, the Saints!?!?! You could have stopped there and for a moment it looked like you were going to as the off-season was about how we're getting the band back together. But you weren't done, Football Gods, oh no, you were only starting. In August/September we learned how key a young receiver (I'm looking at you fucking Sidney) actually is to an aging QB. In Sept/Oct that very same QB is in trouble for allegedly taking pictures of his penis on his cellphone and sending them to an NFL employee. Read that sentence again. Good one, Football Gods, didn't see that coming. I mean you can't make it up. Adding insult to insult to injury at the very same time a Hall of Famer's wang is making national attention we make a trade for a guy who could be an answer at WR (I don't hold you responsible Zygi, I liked the move and anyone who says different is lying or a douche.) Of course, Football Gods, you can't just let that be "awesome." Nope, the same cancer reappears and apparently a local food vendor bares the brunt of the tantrum. Nice twist, Football Gods, creative. Up until this point Football Gods even you have to admit this was getting silly but what's fucked up is that it hasn't even gotten weird yet. In the span of 4 weeks, the cancer is cut out (Randy, I still hope you go in to the HOF as a Viking) which sets off a domino effect as it is also the last straw for guy who was in year one of a new deal he just inked (Chilly, your boobery will not stand!) All of a sudden it's early December we're riding a winning streak (two!) and in the middle of a 3 game home stand. Pause for a second because it's important to mention that Football Gods have been known to reward for suffering (how else did Cardinals go to the SB let alone how did the Bucs actually win it?) and some may have thought things were starting to balance out. But not this time Football Gods, you go to uncharted waters and have the shittiest venue in sports literally collapse the day before a game. To make matters worse said game is then played in Detroit (clever, Football Gods, clever) where the team lies down like a dog and gets the shit kicked out of it. And finally (who am I kidding, we're not done) we are home for a MNF game against the Bears which we are now playing at the fucking Bank.

Football Gods, it's too much. I'd call a truce but I'm not sure what agressive act I should be stopping as it seems pretty one sided up to this point. In an odd way, I feel like you owe me now. Owe me big for enduring. Like how Andy Dufresne was OWED after 20 years in the lock up, the ass rape and beatings, crawling through five-hundred yards of shit smelling foulness. Sound familiar? I'm owed.