In the Booth: Analysis of Twins Broadcasters

Watched the Twins game the other night on FSN. Usually Dick Bremer and Bert Blyleven are in the booth but this night Ron Coomer got “the call” as Bert was taking a night off. Five minutes into the telecast I was wishing Coomer had taken the night off too and it was just Dick, or Dick and some guy from Section 232 in a Koskie jersey, or Dick and Jo Jo the Dogfaced Boy, you get the idea.

This lead me to the idea for this post, considering that 80% of this blog’s readers reside outside of God’s Country, I’m not sure it is relevant but it gave me something fun to do today and the next time you’re in town you can compare and contrast with my analysis.

T.V. Analysis

Dick Bremer – B+
Dick does the play-by-play on FSN along with interview segments with players and pre/post game analysis. I liken Dick to white bread – he doesn’t try to be something fancy like a croissant and he doesn’t try to be something he’s not like a piece of toast. I guess what I mean is he is a steady voice, knows his baseball and Twins history, doesn’t get too excited when things go well and doesn’t get worked up when things go into the toilet on the field. Working with Bert might make him seem better than he is but I like the baritone voice and approach to calling a game. Plus my father-in-law spent some time with him this past Winter and said Bremer was a normal guy (plus he invited my father-in-law to stop by the booth next time he goes to a game.)

Bert Blyleven – C+
I know, he is a Hall of Famer (in waiting) and does the fan-friendly “Circle Me Bert” gimmick that would make you think he is a regular Joe. The problem I have is that he is the retired “star” who wishes he could still lace ‘em up because he would still have his “stuff” (and he reminds you of it all the time.) Yes, he has lots of stories from his days in MLB but listening to him talk about his career gets old. Case in point: during the most recent series against the Rangers, Nolan Ryan was in the stands and I can’t count how many times Bert talked about Nolan, the “battles they had,” what made Nolan a great pitcher, how that compared to Bert blah, blah, blah. Shut it already! I get it, you pitched against Nolan Ryan and went 1 for 4 against him (yes, they flashed the head-to-head comparison.) It is clear that Bert loves Bert; I mean how can you miss the ever present "Count Down to My Birthday." Kitchy when you first see it and think "Ha, ha, good one, I would do that too if I was in the booth" but when "Hey folks it's 283 days until my birthday" becomes "Just a reminder it's 282 days until my birthday" turns into "281 days until my birthday" you find yourself sending Bert a mirror as a present hoping he gets the hint. There is no doubt that Bert would rather be in the clubhouse hanging out with the guys again. He has his moments but you have to listen to 9 innings to get them.

Ron Coomer – D
Coomer usually does some pre and post game analysis along with a few updates during the game on the status of a player etc. He is brutal. Like Bert, Coomer still wishes he was on the field. He says grating things like “Well, when I played for the Yankees we had a guy . . .” as if this legitimizes his career. It’s also obvious from the telecasts that he and Bert don’t get along as they have gotten into a couple “debates” this season. I have 10 to 1 odds there will be a bar fight between these two this season. Coomer, like Donny from Big Lebowski, is “like a child that has wandered into the middle of a movie” – he is the type of guy who would tell Bert how to grip the ball to throw slider – he has “no frame of reference” but doesn’t care. What also kills me is that he talks about “fundamentals of hitting” all the time; the Washburn High 9th grade boy’s team is as insightful. He has a lifetime .274 BA and .313 OBP and should stop acting like he is a Silver Slugger.

Anthony LaPanta – B -
Anthony hosts FSN’s “Twins Live!” and “Twins Post Game Report.” He is more a traffic cop than anything else. He might just be the hardest working man at FSN as he does a ton of different gigs (like the High School Hockey tournament) and he seems to know the Twins and MLB. My sense is that he is more concerned about the sport’s anchor job at KARE 11 than working himself into the booth with Bremer.

Telly Hughes and Roy Smalley – C –
Jury is still out on these two. Hughes is new and has the crappy assignments like talking to the row of fans that won a lottery ticket from the Minnesota State Lottery or talking to a bunch of high school kids that have a wacky Gomez sign. Roy Smalley works with LaPanta. I think he has a day job that keeps him from making all the broadcasts or at least it seems that way because I don’t think he has said anything that is memorable.

Radio Broadcasts
Herb Carneal – A
Rest in Peace, Herb.

John Gordon – A-
Might totally be my bias but Gordo is the voice of the Twins for me, heck, he is the voice of Minnesota Summer for me. Sure, Gordo makes every ball that gets hit hard sound like it is going out of the park but he can’t help it. His “Touch ‘em all!” call for dingers and his “Oohhhhh My!” call for a good play in the field are classics in my book.

Dan Gladden – B +
Maybe it’s just that I like radio announcers better but the Dazzle Man has grown on me. He announces like he played – hard, gruff, and understated. The turning point was last year during a game when he was doing the play-by-play for the 4th, 5th, and 6th. The Twins were killing some team and an opposing batter had just struck out. Gladden said: “I don’t know why you would even swing at that pitch. . . that was terrible. . . almost like he has no business being out there at all . . . next up is (insert player’s name here) . . . wonder if he can do any better.” Maybe you had to be there.