Mitchell Report Baseless Speculation:
1. Who's on it?
2. Any Twins?
50-70 names? Wow. Word on the street is that it's going to be a busy day in the Bronx. I wouldn't be surprised if Queens saw a few reporters, too. We all know Clemens and Bonds are going to show up, but what about others? Sheffield? I'm going to go with Pujols and Prior as the big surprises. Oh, and Shilling, too. Basing all that on nothing more than gut feeling.
I must say, I don't have any legitimate fear that any Twins names will be mentioned, but aren't you terrified at the same time? I mean, if someone like Johan's name were to pop up I just don't know what I'd do with myself. Then again, if Ortiz is on there (wouldn't be a shock), I would nod my head knowingly and move on.
10 Comments:
There are going to be some shockers for sure. The hub-bub is going to be about guys who have denied, denied, denied for so long (can we call this pulling a "Palmeiro.") I mean, I can't wait to see how obstinant and 'jerky' guys like Clemens are going to be when reporters ask for a comment.
The only Twin I could possibly think of is Rincon but he was already busted for it. If someone like Torii/Santana/Morneau/Mauer are on that list I'm turning in my Twins hat.
It is small and petty of me but I'd like to see the list dominated by Red Sox, Yankees, White Sox players. How sweet would it be to have AJ on the list? Thome? Manny? David Ortiz? Jeter? A-Rod?
I love it how the player's association is ticked that Mitchell didn't give them an advance copy of the report when they provided basically no help to investigators.
December 13, 2007 at 10:26 AM
Guys, I'm guessing you're with me on this, but hearing that Clemens' name was definitely on the list kind of made my day. He's just such an a-hole that he deserves every bit of this. Remember the whole Piazza thing (plunking him in the head and then throwing the bat at him - sort of)? Can anyone say roid rage?
I could see an obscure Twin making the list...like Lew Ford or someone like that. The nice thing about being the Piranhas is that we didn't hit enough homers for anyone to suspect us.
Oh yeah...expect Gagne, Prior, and several other pitchers who have mysteriously broken down to be on there. And how about guys like Juan Gone and other sluggers who all of a sudden vanished from prominence. Yup.
All in all, if the list was 45 Red Sox, Yanks and White Sox, I'd be stoked.
December 13, 2007 at 10:47 AM
Here is great link to timelines, players, indictments etc.
http://baseballssteroidera.com/
December 13, 2007 at 11:29 AM
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December 13, 2007 at 1:21 PM
I was unable to find the video for the below SNL Weekend Update skit. Baseball might want to go this route:
Dennis Miller: In response to what its sponsors claim is an idea whose time has come, the first All-Drug Olympics opened today in Bogota, Columbia. Athletes are allowed to take any substance whatsoever before, after, and even during the competition. So far, 115 world records have been shattered! We go now to correspondent Kevin Nealon, live in Bogota for the Weightlifting Finals. Kevin?
Kevin Nealon: Dennis, getting ready to lift now is Sergei Akmudov of the Soviet Union. His trainer has told me that he's taken antibolic steroids, Novacaine, Nyquil, Darvon, and some sort of fish paralyzer. Also, I believe he's had a few cocktails within the last hour or so. All of this is, of course, perfectly legal at the All-Drug Olympics, in fact it's encouraged. Akmudov is getting set now, he's going for a cleaning jerk of over 1500 pounds, which would triple the existing world record. That's an awful lot of weight, Dennis, and here he goes.
[ Kevin steps aside to reveal the steroid-bulked athlete bent over to lift the 1500 lbs. weight. Sergei tightens his grip on the barbells and pulls up, but instead of lifting the weights, his arms are pulled off and blood squirts ferociously out of his pulpy stubs.
Kevin Nealon: Oh! He pulled his arms off! He's pulled his arms off, that's gotta be disappointing to the big Russian! [ Sergei's trainer wraps a towel around him ] You know, you hate to see something like this happen, Dennis! He probably doesn't have that much pain right now, but I think tomorrow he's really gonna feel that, Dennis! Back to you!
Dennis Miller: Thank you, Kevin. Very nice form on the Russian. Canada, of course, is leading that competition.
December 13, 2007 at 1:23 PM
Harby Harbinson was on the list! For crying out loud, I have now lost my faith.
December 13, 2007 at 1:24 PM
Just the names, in one easy to read list: http://abcnews.go.com/Sports/story?id=3995430&page=1
Most of the big names leaked earlier are not actually on here. I would guess that was more of a list of anyone ever under suspicion. No Prior, no Brady Anderson, not even McGwire, Sosa or Canseco.
Our bestest friend in the whole world Clemens is there, though. His legend is now completely shot: http://www.nytimes.com/2007/12/14/sports/baseball/14mitchell.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin The coincidental timing of his working with McNamee and the on field results have to be a presumption not only of usage, but of effects of usage. His image should, by tomorrow morning, be as tarnished as Bonds'.
I've always, always had a problem with Pettitte, and was quite pleased to see him implicated, too. Lift the brim of your cap and look at people now, jagoff. Knobby made it, too.
Surprises - Hal Morris, David Justice (mostly because I'd forgotten he ever existed), Denny Naegle. No, really, that Denny Naegle. With the 83 mph fastball.
BG, nice call on Gagne.
So, now what? This really just follows one strand of the tapestry. It's not like everyone else is now above suspicion, is it? I'd hate to think people can use the fact they're not on this list as some sort of defense against any allegations about them.
December 13, 2007 at 2:33 PM
Hah! Mysetery solved... now we know why Knoblauch stopped being able to make that tremendously difficult throw to first base from the 4-hole.... his muschles were too bound up from the roids....
couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
December 13, 2007 at 3:13 PM
WTF... Rondell White is on the list... are you kidding me>
Does anyone else find that funny
December 13, 2007 at 3:17 PM
rts, here you go...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrCGYtFAQ2U
December 14, 2007 at 9:44 AM
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