FTLOSBW to AP: Will you Marry Us?

Well, it's t-minus AP, and I want to go on the record with an admission and/or a proposal.  Regardless of where you stand on the issue of gay marriage and the constitutional import of Minnesota's recent decision to not allow gay marriage to be banned, or something, (to be fair, this sports blogger did not really follow the issue, because, well, he doesn't give a shit) I think we can all agree that this group should agree to gay marry Adrian Peterson.

While it's not exactly about gay marriage as much as it is about just being in AP's life, and him being in ours, I do think it's an important test of our commitment to the institution of marriage and to the Vikings' success.  Don't get me wrong, i would gladly bed AP at his will if he continues to rush for 175 yards per game and drives us into the playoffs, and would certainly film BG having his lower cavity owned by him and posted on various fantasy sports and porn sites, but not because i'm gay,  just because it'd hurt aaron rodgers even indirectly. I think i speak for Jan when i say it's open season on a full on polygamous orgy of manly love in exchange for just one shot at an AP driven, record breaking playoff run.  

Is everyone in on this?  I need to know for the marriage certificate and for the condoms.  It's the least we can do. 

Soooooo, AP, will you marry FTLOSBW?  Seriously, marry us.   We need this.