Iowa the cesspool of America

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2011/12/observations-from-20-years-of-iowa-life/249401/1/?single_page=true

I consider myself pretty tough skinned. Yesterday, the above article was brought to my attention and I have an issue with it. The article was written by a journalism Professor at the University of Iowa to show how a state with such insignificance plays such a seismic role in determining the next President. Fair enough, I am sure there is a very valid argument that could be made. I also bet one could make an argument against all 50 states. What Bloom does though is just take pot shots at the state and the Midwest. Supposedly, he has lived in the state for 20 years, but his observations sound as though they were made by a snob from one of the coasts who has never set foot in Iowa. I could go through this line by line but I will just take on a couple of obvious points.

1) Keokuk, is a depressed, crime-infested slum town. Almost every other Mississippi river town is the same; they're some of the skuzziest cities I've ever been to, and that's saying something.

Really? Have you ever been to Gary or Memphis or Stockton or New Iberia, Louisiana? I am guessing Keokuk has nothing on these dumps in terms of crime, poverty, graduation rates or drug use. My wife grew up in a Mississippi river town and would move back in a heart beat to get away from all the issues Atlanta has.

2) Not many cars in these parts of America. They're vehicles, pronounced ve-HICK-uls -- 4X4's, pick-ups, snowmobiles).

I have never had an Iowan ask me for a ride in my ve-hick-ul. I have had someone from the east coast ask me for a ride in my caah.

3) if you have some money, by God you'd never want to make anyone feel bad by showing it off.

Maybe the rest of the US should take note. Maybe if everyone was not concerned with keeping up with the Joneses we would not be in such a financial mess in this country.

4)In this land, deep within America, on Friday nights it's not unusual to take a date to a Tractor Pull or to a Combine Demolition Derby ("First they were thrashin', now they're CRASHIN'!")

I wish this were true. I would so make fun of my wife for going to one of these things with her high school boyfriend. Besides, I bet going to a combine demo derby would be pretty sweet.

5)Religion is the glue that binds everyone, whether they're Catholic, Lutheran, or Presbyterian. You can't drive too far without seeing a sign for JESUS or ABORTION IS LEGALIZED MURDER

Clearly this guy has never been to the South. These signs are so much more prevalent down here. They aren't on rural roads, they are in the city on the interstates.

6) The first day I arrived from San Francisco, wandering about Iowa City during spring break, billed as a bustling Big Ten University town, I kept wondering, "Where is everyone?"

It was spring break, of course there was no one left in the college town.

7)Indoor parking lots are ramps, soda is pop, lollipops are suckers, grocery bags are sacks, weeds are volunteers, miniature golf is putt-putt, supper is never to be confused with dinner, cellars and basements are totally different places, and boys under the age of 16 are commonly referred to as "Bud

I use or used all of these except sack and volunteer and I grew up inside the city limits of Minneapolis. A cellar is different from a basement. Isn't a lot flat and a ramp has tiers, so what the Iowans say correct? The rest is nothing other than regional dialect, no better or worse than anywhere else. They call a shopping cart a buggy down here, what a bunch of morons!

8)Comfort food reigns supreme. Meatloaf and pork chops are king. Casseroles (canned tuna or Tatertots) and Jell-O molds (cottage cheese with canned pears or pineapple) are what to bring to wedding receptions and funerals. Everyone loves Red Waldorf cake. Deer (killed with a rifle is good, with bow-and-arrow better) and handpicked morels are delicacies families cherish.

I have never been to a funeral or wedding in which this was true, I have no idea what Red Waldorf cake is and food that someone has had a hand in bringing to the table is better.

9) To me, it summed up Iowa. You'd never get a dog because you might just want to walk with the dog or to throw a ball for her to fetch. No, that's not a reason to own a dog in Iowa. You get a dog to track and bag animals that you want to stuff, mount, or eat.

I highly doubt that most people are mistaking the Jewish nerd as a big hunter and that strangers really admire his dog that much. Although, it does seem like a better reason to get a dog than to get a pit bull or a large dog to show how tough you are as seems to be the culture in many urban areas.

10) an assortment of waste-toids and meth addicts with pale skin and rotted teeth

How about some statistics to back that up? I was told by someone who was trying to staff a manufacturing plant in Oklahoma that Oklahoma had the worst meth problem. This made it very difficult to find people to work there. Regardless of which state has the worst meth problem, which we won't know without some statistics, meth is a nationwide problem not just an Iowa problem.

I could go on and on. I acknowledge that I respond to some of his comments by making fun of other parts of the country. I am just pointing out that everywhere has pitfalls. Instead of tearing down the state why not stick to the facts like it is 91% white and the like. In the end what gets me really mad is this is a guy blasting the people who pay his salary (100K+), the tax payers of Iowa, and ripping his customers, the students of those Iowa families. If this was anywhere but academia the guy would be canned. Also, I would expect more from a journalism professor than this dribble. Talk about making the state look bad, they have this guy teaching at their university.