A Sentence You Never Thought You'd See...

The Twins are red hot, and they're being carried by Delmon Young.

I know Garza just threw a no-no the other night, but right now I don't think I'd want him back if it meant having to give up Delmon.

How crazy is that?

The slaughter in KC

The slaughter was bad.

How bad was it?

It was so bad the were giving away free Braves tickets on the radio to the person could come up with the funniest comment as to what Bloomquist was thinking standing in CF in the 7th inning when it was 17-0.

Dogs?

What is up with broke ass people and dogs? Why do all the broke ass people I know or see own not one but multiple dogs? My grandfather had squatters in his second home, long story don't ask. They had multiple dogs. I read an article on on CNN about a lady living in her Ford Explorer in Malibu. She had multiple dogs sleeping in there. Now a friend of mine who was just worried about losing his home gets a second dog. I don't get it. Someone please explain it to me or tell me I am wrong.

Can Thome Pitch?

Well, last night was just atrocious. And by that, I mean, horseshit doesn't quite capture it. Gardy said that game "had no pace". I don't know. I thought it did. The type of pace you feel when three ex-cons are raping you in a jail cell that you're in for a crime you didn't commit --- It feels like it's going forever, but it's actually going really fast, which isn't any better because when it's over you're just going to painfully sit there and think about the next raping that's coming your way in about....oh, whenever they open that door.

This pitching staff looks like a minor league squad (double A, maybe). Without Pavano, we would be in fourth place. I hate saying that. I hold out hope that Liriano pitches the way he did the other night, and the Dunce can come in and be a quality starter 75% of the time. Baker, Blackburn and Slowey -- to you, I say "PLEASE!?!!?!?!?" Can't just one of you step up and be somewhat like you sometimes are but then be that way all the time?

My solution is simple -- Thome. He's been aound. I think he can throw, though I am not sure I've ever seen it. Just throw it down the middle and hope Target Field is too big for most people to hit it out. God knows we've shown that to be true. We'd get his bat in there more than once every three games, and well, I like him. I feel good watching him. Then we could DH for Punto.

Twins/White Sox 4 Game Set - Recap

(Editors note: This post is for only those who have actually grown a mustache at some point in their lives and worn it out in public.)

Weekend Recap

Game 1 - Should have won that one. We would have at the Dome. People were saying that the White Sox "are over their Minnesota curse" after pulling that one out.

Game 2 - Hey, Jon Rauch, get another tattoo, do something because that appearance was shaky at best. Can someone give me a high-five on Jesse Crain? He sucked the first month or so but has been a killer ever since. Closer role? Buried in the near-collapse was Liriano's nice outing.

Game 3 - The day the earth stood still. Remember Minnesota in July? Hot, steamy, huge storms that sprout up in the afternoon? That was Saturday here. It could not have played out any better with Pavano and Burehehlrlel going at it in just under 2 hours because 20 minutes after the game ended the heavens opened up. I spent 15 minutes in my basement as tornado sirens sounded - those things always make me jolt (side note: my dad never went into the basement, I, however, always go because it's kinda the easiest thing to do.) Back to the game, I'm growing a mustache and you should too.

Game 4 - Who should not grow a mustache? Blackburn, Slowey, or Baker. Not sure that they actually could but it didn't help Blackburn much yesterday (he had some Fu Man Chu attempt.) Some say he got some stuff figured out, I say he didn't. What a comeback though, it was as exciting as a game as I've seen all year. Oh and who came through again? Only the best hitter in the league with RISP - DYoung.

Pursue The Pennant

Last week I was cleaning out my basement and I came across my old Pursue the Pennant game. For those of you not familiar with PTP, it was a baseball game played with cards and dice available for purchase at the Games by James location in Calhoun Square circa 1988. You can imagine how cool I was at the time. The game featured all the major league teams and the majority of the players that made up the rosters. The general gist of the game was you set your lineup, pitching rotation and 24 man roster. The game play involved rolling 3 10 sided dice (I am sure that I had extras from Dungeons and Dragons). One die was 100s , one was the tens and one was the ones. 0-499 was listed on the batters card and 500-999 was on the Pitchers card. Roll the dice and see what the card says. It is pretty elaborate with every player having their own card for batting or pitching plus error rankings, range rankings, different jump, stealing and base running, arm strength...I spent many a summer day playing against my non-Blake friends and even by myself. I have the 88 and 89 teams. My goal as a kid was to play a out a full tournament, 64 teams with the top teams getting byes to round out the bracket. I never accomplished that. I am not sure if I ever made it down to 32 teams.

I brought the game upstairs and decided to play a 4 team tournament. I took the 88 Twins and matched them up with the 88 White Sox. In the other bracket I matched the 88 Braves against the 88 Cubs. The Cubs took the best of 3 series 2-0. The White Sox did the same to the Twins with Melido Perez out dueling Alan Anderson and "Black" Jack Mcdowell taking down Frankie "Sweet Music" Viola. In the finals the Cub took the tournament 2-1. Yes, my wife thinks I am a nerd. The game itself was tedious at times. I really wanted a sweep in the finals and was not thrilled having to play the 3rd game, but what the heck I had the All star game on in the background. What was cool about the whole thing was going down memory lane with the Twins. Sure we all remember Kirby, Hrbek and Gaetti. What about Mark Portugal, Randy Bush and John Moses? Here is where the real appeal of the game comes, who do you start in RF Bush or Moses? If I have one of those guys DH I have to put Larkin on the pine. Decisions decisions decisions. Do I let Viola pitch even though he only spent half the year with the Twins and the other half with the Mets? Doug Baker hits .270 against righties, I will put him on top of my reserves so I don't forget to pinch hit him late. I know you can feel the excitement.

It was a piece of my childhood. It still has some fun value to it. I am still a nerd deep down inside. It is now time to put it back in the basement for another 20 years.

Twins All-Star Break 2010 Analysis

Thoughts? 10 years ago we would all be high-fiving about being 3.5 games out. This isn't 10 years ago.

1. Rotation - Shaky like a big girl in heels. Pavano is our ace. Carl Pavano. I think that Rick Anderson needs to find a new way to communicate with these guys or he has got to go. As my father-in-law said "I've never seen a group of guys hang their heads more than Baker, Slowey, and Blackburn." It's true. How about a little fight, start channeling your inner Jack Morris.

2. Offense - Somethings wrong with Joe. He's hurt. I think we all know how I feel about Cuddy so I won't even get into why we continue to bat him 5th over DYoung. Speaking of DYoung, Souhan had an article saying we should trade him now. Really Jim Souhan? For what, Roy Oswalt? C'mon.

3. Defense - Lackluster.

4. Stadium - the best.

So there you have it. We're fans of an underachieving team with the most powerful lineup we've seen in years and the weakest starting rotation this side of LH getting the nod during his little league days that we get to watch in an awesome ballpark.

My prediction: We win the division by 4 games. Yes, I am a rube.

It's Your Duty, FTLOSBW: Vote DYoung

I'd be remiss if I didn't ask you to support DYoung for the All-Star Game.

click here

Vote early and often (it's unlimited voting, THANKS Major League Baseball!!!) Take the time out of your day to cast 145 ballots for DYoung. (BTW - I know DTK and BG watched this weirdo video I posted last time about DYoung, I encourage others to take a look if they missed it. And I thought I was riding the razors edge.)

BTW - Why does Pavano remind me of Tapani. Speaking of, where is FTLOSBW's very own Tapani? Last I heard the Cubs were still 10.5 games out.

Day Game Recap at TF

Day game in June now requires sunscreen.

The video below says it all. As DTK and I hung out by the flag poles in right and Morneau stepped to the plate, Jan called the shot and almost grabbed his 15 minutes of fame but, alas, it wasn't meant to be.

Big win. Big win.